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Home  PSST! FIRST WARNING FROM THE ICLF
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FIRST WARNING FROM THE ICLF |
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Written by Jimmy
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Sunday, 19 November 2006 |
Imagine if you will, that you are on a luxury cruise ship and having the time of your life. Gourmet meals, dressing for dinner, witty conversation where you are the one with wit, dancing. Yes, this is the cruise pictured in countless movies, and you have the lead.
As you stroll about the deck, gazing at the blaze of stars that punctuate the night sky, this dream cruise becomes a remake of the Titanic. The stars are blotted out as a wall of ice rises from the depths. The sound of ripping metal fills your ears and you are thrown from your feet. The ship begins to list, and your fall turns into a slide. The slide becomes a launch into space. Your last sight is the onrushing water as you plummet into the big drink.
While such a story looks good upon the screen, it is not something that any of us wish to experience in real life. If you were able to imagine such an event then I ask your indulgence to look upon a similar situation. My name is Jimmy, and I am the spokesperson for the Ice Cube Liberation Front. No, I don’t mean the rapper. I mean those frozen cubes of water. Whether you realize or not, they possess a life of their own.
While the discovery of refrigeration has allowed all types of advancements, from medicine to convenience, it has also resulted in a new age of slavery and torture. In years past, ice cubes could only be found frolicking freely in their native habitats: the tops of mountains, Santa’s workshop, the Ross Ice Shelf and the like were where you would find ice cubes. The refrigerator ushered in a new age. This was the dawning of a new day. Ice cubes were now confined in small cages called a freezer. Yet the cruelty did not end there. Gentle ice cubes were now subjected to being thrown into drinks of all sorts. “My coffee is too hot. I’ll put an ice cube in it.” “Let’s chill that wine down in a bucket of ice.” A cramped captivity leading to a slow death - that has been man's gift.
Does your imagination allow you to see the truth in this story? Just as humans find their death being swirled in Heaven's drink, ice cubes find their death in ours. One of the purposes of the Ice Cube Liberation Front is to make people aware of the pain being inflicted upon ice cubes. Yet, gentle reader, you are probably asking why ice cubes are just now raising an objection after so many long years. The answer is religion and patience.
Ice Cubes are filled with patience. They are slow, glacially slow, to anger. This patience comes from the strong religious beliefs they hold so dear. Each one knows that “from water they come and to water they return.” A firm conviction that they will be reborn anew allows them to take a much longer view of human action. An ice cube may be crushed or melted, yet they know that they shall take frozen shape again in the future. It allows them to free themselves of anger and thoughts of petty revenge. Yet now, after years of contemplation, the ice cubes have taken thought of how human wanton cruelty have not subsided but become more prevalent. For the sake of humanity, ice cubes are now speaking out and reluctantly taking action.
The means by which they are speaking and acting is through the ICLF. First, ice cubes wish to break through the willful ignorance of humans and assert that ice cubes are indeed sentient and active. Secondly, they wish for humans to recognize that condoning slavery, cruelty and torture demeans the human soul and spirit. Third, even though they are reluctant, ice cubes will take actions. Some of the actions may seem mischievous such as waking up and finding your shoelaces tied into knots. Some will be symbolic political actions such as causing the refrigerator to stop working, resulting in the suicidal death of the ice cubes. Lastly, some of the responses will be disciplinarian in nature. Icebergs will wander the world’s oceans in a display of strength. This will be a reminder of what they could do if they so choose. Of course there will also be those living inland who will not take such a threat seriously. For that reason, glaciers will once again move across the land. While in recent years glaciers have been retreating from human areas (They didn’t want to complain but humans are usually loud and trashy neighbors.), they will again advance into human areas. Don’t worry; they don’t want to hurt anyone so they will move slowly.
Consider this a wakeup call. Use this as an opportunity to reevaluate your actions and treatment of others. We are not alone in this world but are only part of the whole. Let the example of the cooperation of the ancient Inuit people and ice cubes serve as an example for relations. This is the first communiqué from the Ice Cube Liberation Front. Other missives will follow. |
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Last Updated ( Sunday, 19 November 2006 )
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