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Home  PSST! Petunia’s Fortress of Country-tude
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Petunia’s Fortress of Country-tude |
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Written by Jimmy (as told to Brent Hundley)
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Wednesday, 27 September 2006 |
Sometimes you just need to see the other person's face, to see the expression, hear the words and the inflection. Sometimes even the immediacy of the internet is not enough. A smiley can’t convey all the subtlety of human interaction. That’s why I began my journey to visit Petunia, face-to-face.
I won’t bore you with the usual travel information. Sure, I had to traverse raging storm-tossed waters and the mundane burning desert sands under a blazing sun, but that wasn’t out of the ordinary. What was special is that the last thirty miles of the trip was made by roller coaster. It was great! A wild roller coaster ride, climbing to the clouds and diving back to the ground, speedy straight-aways and hairpin turns, and it was a ride that just kept going. With all the speed of the fastest of coasters but one that lasted forty-five minutes rather than the usual three.
Finally I reached my destination. I was exhilarated from the ride and half blinded by the glare from the gleaming edifice before me. I approached with trepidation. This was it, my first face-to-face encounter with Petunia. I crossed the drawbridge and stood before the massive door of wood and glass. I rang the massive bronze gong that stood next to the door and waited. Finally, the door slowly opened. Before me stood a matronly woman, white haired and radiating wisdom and inner-peace. “Petunia, it’s me, Jimmy!” I cried.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, sonny.” The Earth Mother said, “You’re looking for the fortress across the street.” I turned around.
There before me was Petunia’s Fortress of Country-tude. The white walls glistened in the afternoon sun. Wild animals frolicked upon the grounds. Crystalline windows gathered sunbeams and threw them back to the clouds.
Petunia stood upon the ramparts laughing at my mistake.
I strode across the road. “ Petunia, I have traversed the raging waters and crossed the burning sands....” I began.
“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it before. That’s how everybody gets here.” Petunia responded. “Come on inside.”
I followed her into the Main Hall of the Fortress. Mystic symbols were prominent upon the walls. Arcane tomes were stacked upon the great table, and a computer screen glowed within a recessed alcove. The smoke from incense sticks curled lazily towards a ceiling lost in shadows. This was the setting for our council.
Gathered with us were representatives from the Ethereal Cat Council. Shiva and Agrotera brought the latest demands from the Cat Kingdom for their human slaves. Petunia’s teenage son practiced his magic by turning himself into a sixteen-year-old virgin Oriental girl.
“Now that all of the preliminaries have been dealt with, let us speak plainly,” spoke Petunia. “How was your trip?”
“It was great. The weather was beautiful... well, except for the raging and stormy waters and the blazing sun swept sands. The roller coaster ride here was the best one I’ve ever been on. Tell me, though, what is growing in all of those fields next to the corn?”
“That’s soybean. We grow a lot of soybean around here to feed to the pigs,” Petunia replied.
“Ah, that would explain the smell, “ I muttered.
“Now we come to the crux of our discussion. Shall we collaborate on writing a book or story?” asked I.
“I don’t know. I guess we could but I haven’t really thought about it. Do you want to collaborate,” mused Petunia.
“I’m not sure. It was really suggested by someone else but thought we should think about it,” I replied.
“Yeah, we can decide later. What do you want to do now, Jimmy?”
“It’s time for me to head back, and I really want to ride that roller coaster again. I’ll also probably stop and talk to an Okie in Muscogee. I’ll see you later, Petunia.”
“Bye, Jimmy.” |
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 28 September 2006 )
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