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Home  Browse All Articles Writers Showcase My Special Brother
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My Special Brother |
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Written by Yvonne Tan
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Monday, 07 August 2006 |
Most of the parents would not be able to accept the fact that their children are special, much less take care of them with love and care. One minute they are so engrossed doing something. The next minute they will be jumping up and down or busy exploring around for new interests. It takes patience to understand their needs and perseverance to meet their needs.
MY SPECIAL BROTHER
Caring for a child is one of the greatest parenting challenges of all. One minute they are so engrossed doing something. The next minute they will be jumping up and down or busy exploring around for new interests. It takes patience to understand their needs and perseverance to meet those needs. It takes all of ourselves to transform a child into a healthy and independent person. However, it is my special brother who teaches me the importance of love.
My younger brother was diagnosed as ‘special’ after he had a very serious brain inflammation caused by a high fever. He cannot attend school. He does not know how to speak, eat, bathe or change. In fact, he does not know how to do anything at all. My once very smart brother suddenly became a handicapped individual who needs special attention. It was hard for everyone to accept the fact that we had a special child in our family.
My mother, just widowed at that time, was completely at loss of what to do. Life would be hard for the three of us since then. However, it was lucky for my brother that my mother did not give up. Her patience prevailed, and she vowed to provide us with a comfortable home. She did it and both of us grow up healthily and happily.
I cannot imagine my life without my brother. Neither can my mother. Life without him would be monotonous and uninteresting. Life without him would be less joyous and meaningful. Life without him would be without love.
People might say, “You poor people, having to take care of a handicapped child.” Others might also say, “It is so tiring to take care of someone who doesn’t know anything.” Yes, it would be difficult for us. Yes, it would also be tiring. I did not say life would be easy but together, the three of us would be able to conquer all. That is what I have always believed.
The best word to describe my brother? He is a Teacher. By taking care of him years after years, he teaches me patience. Patience with his demanding needs, patience with his swinging moods, patience with his naivety. Slowly, without my realization, my bad temper changes also to become a gentler girl with soft heart.
He teaches me perseverance, to never give up. That is why I never give up teaching him. I teach him things which are simple to us yet difficult to him, such as how to hold a spoon properly, how to scoop up rice, or how to change his pants. I teach him how to dance and forget all the troubles of the world. And slowly, he does learn a little for himself.
He teaches me how to smile no matter what happens. At times, I would become angry and scold him, “Why couldn’t you learn simple things like that?” But still, he smiles at me as though I am a fairy from some magical land. And thus, I would feel so guilty for scolding him and hug him closely to my heart. From him, I learn that a smile is the most important asset everyone has which can melt even the hardest rock heart.
He teaches me courage. We are poor and money does not come easily. At times, when I go to school and my mother has to go to work, my brother has to be left alone at home. My mother’s boss would not allow my brother to be brought to work place. He who is a timid boy has cried many times but still, whenever we come home, he welcomes us with the biggest smile on his face. He teaches me that no matter what happens, things will still turn out to be alright in the end. By facing him, both my mother and I have managed to gather our strength and courage to face the challenges of life. Any other problem that crop up in our life is no big deal at all.
My special brother teaches me gentleness. Back then as a student, I always fell asleep when I studied. He would come and woke me up with his gentle touch. Every morning, if I wake up later than him, he would come and woke me up with his gentle touch, too. He teaches me that everything can be done in a gentle way. This is what I hold on to now as an educator.
A very unique habit that my brother has is that he likes to correct the way people sit and fold their legs. You could say that he values good manners most. Whenever there are people coming to our house, he observes how they seat themselves and he adjusts here and there to correct their so-called sitting manners. Discipline is what I learn from there. Discipline is a very important value in our family and it includes my brother even though he is handicapped.
What else he teaches me, you ask. So now, I tell you that the one most important thing that I learn from him is Love. He shows his love for us in his own special way. Whenever the three of us go out to town, he would hold my mother’s hand in one of his little hands and mine in the other. He does not let go of us, and we are never out of his sight. Once, my mother went behind a rack in the supermarket just to get something that she needed. My brother ran frantically around and cried, looking for my mother. That’s when I knew he will never give up on us and we must never give up on him too. He is a lovable child and we shower him with all the love we could give him.
As I grow up each day, I know our bond is much more special than what other brothers and sisters could have. He does not know how to speak but that does not mean that I cannot communicate with him, just that we have our own special way of communicating that only us understand it.
Now I am a twenty four year old while my brother is twenty two. Everyday, I am still learning from him even though I am a teacher now. I hope that my students can learn from him as well. I hold on tight to all his teachings as I grow older and more matured day by day. I would not change my brother for anything else in this whole world. I would give the same advice to all the parents with special children. Value them as your most precious asset. Above all, don’t give up on them because they will never give up on you. If not for my strong, patient and loving mother, my brother would not be able to live such a happy life as he does today.
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