My buddy told me to take a chance

Internet dating…you’ll find romance

So I joined a website and to my delight

A girl emailed me… "Would you be my Knight?"

She wrote her username is EAB 53

She was searching for a good man

She hoped it was me

She yearned for a male fan

I like good conversation, fine dining and champagne

But first you should know I am not into playing games

I won’t let just anyone into my nest

I hope you won't become a love pest

I emailed her back… "Maybe we could meet?"

I will make love to your feet

She must have sensed I was in heat

Her reply was let’s take it slow… prove to me why you should receive my treat

She attached her photo… I slowly opened her file

To my surprise this woman had beauty, grace and style

She was truly an Elegant Visual Feast

Her emails awakened my sexual beast

The next day in the mail a letter came

At last…My poem was to be published

I’m finally in the writing game

The selection committee determined my words were not rubbish

I celebrated alone all afternoon

Trouble is Rasberry Vodka turns me into a writing goon

I sent my Amour a loving email

About my desire for her tail

She wrote back. "Get lost…you're not worth the cost."

That’s the trouble with drink it makes one yearn for the pink

Now my love is lost Goodbye EAB 53

Now Where is my drink