WordTickler
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Re:prophet of vision - 06/28/2007
My words spread and infect minds like wildfire
From a reader's perspective, I believe I'd feel more comfortable if you were to switch "spread" with "infect minds", here. The reason I say this is that wildfire does not infect, so to say "infect minds like wildfire" is giving the simile the wrong emphasis. However, saying "spread like wildfire" seems more in keeping with the purpose for the simile. Try it as:
My words infect minds and spread like wildfire
Your brilliance still shows through. It's just clearer this way.
Illuminatin any and all desires,
Did you drop the "g" from the end of "illuminatin" on purpose? If you did, and were trying to use the word as slang, it is usually appropriate to place an apostrophe where the missing letter should be. In essence, illuminatin' would be better. The same falls true for "Spreadin", "allowin" and "appealin". Slang is an important part of our culture. Identifying it as such with punctuation is equally as important.
When we move into this form of prose, I find it hard to know whether the author has purposefully misspelled words or not. "Cuz" is obviously important in its misspelled state in that it conveys the "arms across the chest defiance" pervading this work. But Ill is just uncomfortable for me. It is bastardizing the word ill (sick) and abandoning proper grammar to the tune of one deeper step into casualness--not just a contraction in place of proper words, a malformed contraction, at that.
The use of "tha" for "the" seems purposeful, as it follows popular Internet-speak, but I'm guessing the missing "l" from the end of "instil" is just an oversight, right?
Lastly, the final word in this piece is "to". I believe, since you're trying to say "also", it should be "too".
Deep prose. Well done, even though this played hell with my spell-checker.
-= WordTickler =-
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Post edited by: WordTickler, at: 06/28/2007
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