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Re:Article for critique - 05/31/2007
You make many good points, and I like how open you are about your thoughts in the process.
In the spirit of the exact sort of honesty you've just written about, I'll say that it does need some editing -- tightening, as Falcon says, in terms of redundancy -- and also a bit of the grammarian's red proofreading pen, mainly with comma usage.
Thank you for writing it and sharing thus far.. I'll look for the finished version whenever that gets put online.
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