gfralin
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Re:Poem for feedback - 09/01/2006
I like the way this is worded and the lack of punctuation tends to move it along at a fast clip like a flood would in a lot of cases. I think maybe a comma here or there to emphasise important passages or phrases would help the poem and the reader.
Other than that I think its a great poem.
The only other thing I might suggest right now is to reword or shorten the title. But, others may feel the title adds to the poem itself. So, I'm just giving one opinion.
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