antryg
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Re:Poem for feedback - 08/31/2006
Right now I can only give first impressions from my first two readings of your work. First, the things that caught my mind and imagination. The imagery is very good. My minds eye could see the movement of water from room to room, climbing up clothes and walls. There is a wealth of detail which carries the poem.
On the downside, even reading it aloud, I haven't figured out the flow of the words (no pun intended). With the visual imagery of moving water, I would expect there to be a flow to the poem to match. That may just be my expectations and not what you intended. I'm also unsure of what position the reader takes. Are we an observer, dispationately watching an event unfold? On the other hand I could see where the reader is being invited to join with "the dreamer" of the poem.
Of course these are just my impressions, hopefully they will help. I'm not sure that my viewpoint is considered by most here as "normal".
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