antryg
Moderator Moderator
| Posts: 193 |  | Karma: 5
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Re:prophet of vision - 08/19/2006
I'm assuming that this is a rap or free form poem. That's why I moved it here from nonfiction. While the emotions may be true, it doesn't fit the traditional view of nonfiction writing. Now, that's enough housekeeping.
I really like the flow that this builds up. It immediately taps in and draws a strong emotional connection. I think that would only be enhanced if it was heard rather than read. I'd especially like to hear it with a beat.
The only thing that I was unsure of is the phrase "forgive and heel". I'm thinking you mean forgive and heal, which is consistent with the positive message of the poem.
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